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My last post was so relevant.
Today was horrible. Actually, my last couple of weeks have been pretty fucking shitty.. Two weeks ago my two guy best friends went out of town. It was only for four days, but it felt like forever. They got back and one has a girlfriend so I rarely ever hear from him anymore *sad face* and the other one; he and his son were really sick. I hadn’t seen them in a week maybe. Well, I’m checking my email and I find out some horrible news.. I didn’t get accepted to the college I applied to. My brother and I were planning on going to college together in Monroe. We were looking for apartments and saving money for furniture and everything. Finding that out really upset me, and I’m still pretty upset about it as you can imagine. I had to tell my boss that I wasn’t leaving for school anymore so she didn’t have to take me off the schedule. Here’s a summary of the relationship I have with my boss…she fucking hates me. I told my best friend, Kristi, and she was upset for me but happy I was staying, which I don’t blame her. Blah blah blah. Anyways, work was stressing me out, my boss being a bitch to me was killing me, the fact that I got denied was weighing down on me, the pressure of everyone asking me what I was going to do next was aching, and the feeling that I just let my parents down once again was just heartbreaking to me. So, I was feeling pretty fucking shitty. Then all of a sudden Kristi got mad at me and called me selfish and a horrible friend… All of that at that exact time was just too much.. Literally the timing was just fucking impeccable. Well, I saw one of my guy best friends Saturday night and hung out with him all night. It was awesome, so peaceful and freeing. Nothing else mattered except for the stupid shit we were saying and the videos we were cracking up at. Sunday morning I left because I had work, so I went and did that. Blah blah blah. I hadn’t heard from him at all that morning so when I got off I text him, “hey what’s up?” No respond. I was just like ..eh whatever. Monday, nothing either. Then today. Today was one of those weighing days. Everything just weighing down on me and my walls caving in, crashing all around me.. And still no response. I’m at work and I’m just in the worst mood ever. I’m all depressed and shit and not talking to anyone. My boss is just being mean as fuck to me. I’m like a fucking emotionless zombie and yet she still continues to just be the meanest she could be. I was checking my phone all night and still nothing! I was pretty upset.. at everything. Then randomly at 9:30 I get a text, “Hey what’s up?” It made me smile for real for the first time that day. It was like some of the weight of my walls and worries and pressures just slightly lifted off my shoulders.. We talked for a little bit but he was exhausted and was going to bed. Then he told me he would text me tomorrow. My night was made just from that, just from one person. …Conclusion : post; relevant. |
